Inbox - Recolle

[true_noir]

CHLOE BOUCHARD

This is Chloe. Sorry, I guess you missed me. Just leave a message and I will get back to you soon.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[me_matey]

May Sfondi I AM HERE FOR MY PROVISIONS, WOMAN

[true_noir]

[Oh, would you look at that. She remembered! This would be interesting, wouldn't it? Well, she idly wondered just what he looked like.

...someone had yet to look at profile images for the most part, apparently.]

Chloe Bouchard Oh, hello there!
Chloe Bouchard We can go to lunch, sure, but on one condition.
Chloe Bouchard My name is Chloe, not woman.
Chloe Bouchard Say it with me.
Chloe Bouchard Chloe.

TEXT → FAST-FORWARD TO FEB 13

[tarotcards]

[ On the morning of the 13th, one day before Valentine's Day, a sudden text message appears from a Souji Seta. Perhaps you've talked to him before. Perhaps you haven't. Perhaps you're wondering why the hell you are receiving a text at six in the morning but look, let's not sweat the small details. Pay attention to the larger ones, like the contents of this very important message: ]

Hello.

Through the tides of fate, you have been chosen to participate in this year's Valentine's Day event: Blind Dating. It is believed that no one should be alone for such an important day and as such, you have been paired up with another lonely soul.

Your match is with Peridot. Please contact them to plan out your date for tomorrow.

However, if you and your partner do not know what to do, there will be a booth in Recollé Square for the sole purpose of assisting unsure or confused participants of the event. There will be date suggestions, booklets of pick-up lines, and refreshments.

Happy Valentine's Day.

- Cupid

1/2

[true_noir]

[Wait, she hadn't signed up for any... was this Mikoto's doing? Or Emilie's? This blasted app seemed to like giving her so much trouble at times, but Chloe supposed that she could at least go on a date and be sociable, even if she was already spoken for, so long as it wasn't too late. She had a phone call to make after all.

...wait.

HER?!?]

2/2

[true_noir]

[Cupid was clearly off their game. This was a match made in hell. Chloe was fairly certain that Peridot was certifiably insane after their few meetings. Friendly, yes, but mad as the march hare.

Still, it would be ... entertaining?]

I will try to keep property damage to a minimum.

[No, seriously. She thought that might be an issue with her after the blenders and illegal fireworks.]

2/14

[rebellions]

Ragna Edgson hey flower girl
Ragna Edgson change of plans
Ragna Edgson i need some flowers asap
Ragna Edgson you at work today?

[This is way sooner than he expected, but that's what happens when people sign you up for blind dates.]

[true_noir]

[And directions to Enchanted Blossoms were sent his way.]

Chloe Bouchard Naturally, yes.
Chloe Bouchard I will be in the shop until five o clock with reasonable certainty.
Chloe Bouchard We should have a few inexpensive arrangements ready.

[She was going to try not to be smug. She got signed up too.]

2/14

[mikodere]

hey Chloe! best of luck today.
before your shift ends, don't forget to talk to me. I have something for you and the other employees.

[When Chloe arrives to work, there will be a package waiting for her. Inside that package iswildflower seed bombs.

There will also be her usual paycheck, along with a $100 dollar bonus check in preperation for all the hard work for Valentines Day]

[true_noir]

Why thank you, Mikoto. I will be looking forward to seeing you soon enough.

[And very thankful when the two of them met up. The bonus would make that blind date not nearly as problematic for the monthly budget after all.]

2/15

[twelfthspark]

You work at a flower shop right? This is going to sound crazy but I have to ask you something

[true_noir]

I do, in fact.

What can I do for you, Arlene? Need an arrangement for a special someone?

PROMISED VIDEO, it's a youtube clip

[browbeater]

[he’s got… some sort of recording device going. It might actually be a real camera—because there’s no way the iPhone 4s has the space for the length of this video. When the camera turns on, it’s a close-up of his face as he tries to asses where it’s pointing at and if it’s good. Once he’s satisfied, he steps back, and then goes to the spot he’s hoping to capture—and slides his hands in his pockets. He’s not sure what type of persona he wants to convey here, so… he’s letting some of his natural discomfort show]

So… Gotta admit, I decided to pick a doozy of a topic tonight. But—honestly, I had no choice. [he waves his hand slightly, and then shrugs as he continues] See. I told my brother I was doing this, asked him for suggestions on topics, you know. Made him feel like his opinion really mattered for this. And at first he says he doesn’t care.

[he pauses for dramatic effect]

Then, he realizes that’s not true, and he looks me in the eyes, grabs me by the shoulder, since we’re such a touchy-feely family and all, and says just like this: “Mako. What EVER you do…. Don’t talk about airplane food.”

[he’d stooped a little to imitate the look of grabbing someone and pulling them down to their level, both hands out of his pocket. His face… deathly serious and intense. Once the impression’s over, he stands up straight and starts to pace in one direction]

So, naturally, when someone cares that much, you have to talk about airplane food. You also have to get to the bottom of why your little brother, who has never been on an airplane in his life, and screams the minute he’s on the second story of a building if he looks out the window, cares so much about airplane food.

[he looks the camera dead in the face, playing the line completely straight, as though he was sincerely worried.]

I say, bro. We need to talk.

[he affects a panicked voice,] “AS LONG AS IT’S NOT ABOUT AIRPLANE FOOD MAKO.”

No bro, for real, we need to talk. Just like that, we are getting to the bottom of this airplane food shenanigans right now. Who grabbed you, and made you eat airplane food? Why did it affect you so much? Why am I only just finding about this now?

[a beat, and a pause for emphasis]

Look, you don’t just get on a plane, eat the food, and run off into the wilderness. That, last I checked, is not how airplanes work. I should know. Unlike my brother, I speak from at least one experience. Which makes this a doozy of a topic for another reason.

Is airplane food cool these days? I didn’t exactly put feelers out on the status of airplane food. When I look at a guy, devastated by life, I don’t immediately think, “This man was forced to eat airplane food once in his life and I’m going to make a joke about it.” [again, he plays the line straight, with complete, sincere intensity]

Do people even have, an opinion, outside of my brother? If you do, tinder me later. That sounds like a Tinder type of conversation. My username is, don’t laugh, hatmako858xoxo. Swipe right.

[pause]

… I’m being completely serious with you right now. This is important stuff. I have to get to the bottom of this, slash embarrass my brother as much as humanly possible because he cares so much. No one cares about something that deeply.

[he holds his hands, and pushes them forward slightly, a sort of ‘be calm’ gesture]

Let me explain. No one cares that much when they’ve never been on an airplane.

Hell, do people even care when they’re on an airplane? There are maybe 50 immediate ways a fight can end, and about half of them involve a fiery death, a quarter involve crying babies, and then the rest involve every single way you can be mildly uncomfortable. I know there are fifty because I personally imagined every single one of them to their natural conclusion.

Because I am a very, very, very chill person. [100% deadpan]

So anyway, I’m having this deep heart-to-heart with my brother. I assume that I’m going to learn something about him I didn’t know, I’m gonna have heads to roll because of how traumatized he is about airplane food, from the airplane he’s never been on.

So I go, [now, his tone switches from serious to utterly concerned, almost exaggeratedly so] Bro! What happened? Why do you care so much? Is there something I don’t know about?

[and then he gives a wry grin, with a tone to match] And do you know what that—do you know what my brother said to me, me, after I was so concerned about him?

“Mako, Airplane Food is uncool and unfunny. I don’t want you to suck that bad.”

[he lets the words hang in the air for a moment]

What.

The.

Fuck.

So I say, “God damn it—“ and a few curses in Chinese, where my Mandarin speakers at? Anyway, this little punk wants to save me.

So you know what I said to myself? I said, “I am going to have the best routine about airplane food that anyone has ever seen.”

I’m going to get contacted by Comedy Central just to talk about airplane food, you wait.

I just need the up and up on what that’s all about—so remember, hotmako858xoxo and swipe right. People with airplane food opinions only, thanks and good night.

[browbeater]

if you have any feedback on things i can change before i do this live... lmk. needed some unbiased opinions.

2/26ish

[twelfthspark]

So if I wanted to say "ur cute, let's meet again"... what flower would that be? 🌹

[true_noir]

Not to be too crude on the subject, but the answer depends on if you want them to know that you are interested in the carnal.

If you definitely want to send that message, coral and orange roses as I think we've spoken, mauve carnations with a bit of coriander.

If you're wanting to play this a little more coy, a violet rose with no thorns on it, or a red one if you can't get it sends the message, as do lilacs, though people like to pair those with other flowers as a rule.

Am I safe in assuming you've caught someone's attention?

misfire text! 3/4;

[perfectstrike]

見て。小さい犬


[If Chloe can understand moon runes, it literally just says "Look. A small dog"

[true_noir]

[Hah, what's a moon rune? That just looks like japanese to her, or korean, or chinese. Something oriental.]

Oh, that's an adorable dog! But, who is this? I don't think we've really met.

3/5, misfire, email.

[erythristic]

Forward me the report in progress on ABD. I have reason to believe some idiot screwed up the numbers meaning that the final call on the details will be grossly off. Compromise on that level is unacceptable and I'm not naming names but I'm definitely annoyed.

Also, I took a look and JH is as the initial hypothesis suggested - anaemic hypoxia was a contributing factor.

-G

[true_noir]

Anemic Hypoxia?

Miss, I am almost certain that this was not meant to be sent to me. I do not even know what those words mean. Have we met properly?

because he said he would

[catsudon]

That he did, and she's amused.

[true_noir]

Poor Ralph. He will be without the balloon from now on, will he not?

Hehe, you do love the kittens, do you not?

misfire, 3/5-ish

[belligerentwarrior]

oliver. how original. you should be so proud of yourself for that one.

in what world does he even look like an oliver??

[true_noir]

Oliver? I am afraid, Freya, that you seem to have sent this to the wrong person, though you've made me very curious. Who is this oliver you speak of?

3/10, misfire

[long_live_the_queen]

[Oh look, it's a picture of that ridiculously fluffy tabby Maine Coon again. Except this time he's asleep, curled up on a lumpy blanket.

...there's also some pink hair sticking out from under said blanket.

There's a tennis ball balanced between the cat's ears, and the photo's captioned #stuff on my cat (the other one)

It's not too hard to figure out who it is.]

[true_noir]

[Oh, that was absolutely adorable. Chloe couldn't believe she was seeing such a cute side of Lucy, and it made her clap to herself before she replied.]

This is priceless. I did not know you were a cat person, Lucy!

[Totally unaware this was a misfire.]

3/21

[obscultator]

[Guess who saw your post, Chloe.]

I understand that I may not be of much use to you in regard to relationship advice, but I want you to know that you can always talk to me, if you need to. Even if you only need someone to listen.

[He hasn't had any of these "visions" himself yet, but he has read enough anecdotes by now that he is starting to take the phenomenon seriously. But even if he didn't, it would still be his responsibility to offer an ear.]

[true_noir]

[Fuck! Why did one of the priests serving in town have to be on this blasted app? It wasn't like she'd confessed her sexuality in the confessional booth, not since she'd been a very young girl in France. That had been ...informative.]

Father, I am not sure that this is something you can really help with. These visions have been making my life a nervous wreck, and now imply that I have been unfaithful to my significant other, who still lives in France.

5/03

[livingdeadgirl]

[So you know how a 3AM text was a possibility? Well, it's actually 6AM, but...]

CHLOE WHATS HAPPENING TO MY WORLD

[true_noir]

[Give her a minute, Aradia. She has to find her phone. She doesn't actually sleep with it. However, angry texts do wake her, and when she looks around Chloe makes a mental note of one thing.

She needs to set her alarm for work an hour earlier than she already had.

That done, she sighed and sat against her pillow and rubbed her eyes. Thank god she didn't need to be anywhere for a couple hours, but she was going to need some strong coffee for this shit. Her typed answer carried all of the snark this situation deserved.]

You drank something labeled "DRINK ME" and now the entire world is huge and you're looking for the centipede on the toadstool to change it back.

Retrospec message

[wordcarvings]

[ She's getting a message with a picture attached. A photo of a portrait of a upper middle class looking woman around 30 years old, surrounded by sunflowers. ]

Hi. I was going to send the picture earlier but I was distracted and forgot. It took a while to remember, my apologies.
- Koutarou

[true_noir]

Don't worry. That looks absolutely lovely. I'm glad that you were able to use it for inspiration. Did the client like it?

[darkinferno]

[Here comes Dante! He's done a lot of work on getting this fight club idea off the ground since they've spoken, but he's not about to clue Retrospec in to the fact that they'd talked about it, not with their secondary goals in mind.]

so how good would you say you are with those knives of yours?

good enough to teach other people how to throw?

[true_noir]

I wouldn't call myself a great instructor, but I'd say I can show the basics of throwing techniques. I'm certainly good enough to hit a target at 20-25 meters, so there's that.

Working on accuracy at present.

[She was well aware that the range she was talking about was in the professional or greater category.]

6/10

[darkinferno]

just wanted to let you know i hard back from tatsuo

utsuki dojo, sunday nights from 6 to midnight

we'll start on the 18th

[true_noir]

Yes, I can work with this. I will see you at that time, and we can get some solid training in for everyone. Hopefully we will get a few interested parties.

6/21;

[complementing]

Chloe

I'm not very good at picking up on flirting

but it's definitely not flirting when someone else decides to walk out naked in front of you, right?????

in a LOVE HOTEL NO LESS?????

IS THIS THE AMERICAN WAY TO FLIRT????

[true_noir]

Nothing about what you just described is flirting. It usually means that something happened after flirting, but not necessarily.

Why? What happened?